First of all Baggy would like to apologise on behalf of the gang, for vanishing for the last few weeks. Truthfully, Hormonal Hannah sank into such a dark place that she just couldn't cope with anything; certainly not with getting Creative Clara to be honest about how she was feeling, so the safest thing for her to do for her mental health was to vanish. But the dark cloud seems to have lifted finally, and so here she is again! 
Clever Bird truly hopes that you are all coping better than Hannah is with this weird world that everyone is having to live in. She hadn't actually realised just how badly Hannah was being affected until she spent a week or more having back-to-back meltdowns. It was actually her healthy-living app. that made her more aware of what was wrong, and it was a simple thing: she just hasn't been getting enough sleep! Baggy has never slept well; not even as a child, thanks to Lawrence-the-durmoid-cyst, who spent his time squashing Baggy's internal organs, especially her bladder, she's always woken up a few times a night to go to the loo. Her app. explained that less than eight hours of sleep a night was a major cause of all kinds of ghastly health problems, from diabetes 2 and cancer, to Alzheimer's disease and depression. Seven hours of sleep is now considered as sleep deprivation by the WHO! Even when Baggy worked, the earliest she ever had to get up on a regular basis was 7.00am, and to manage that she always went to bed by 9.00pm! So weeks of Grotty Groom getting Baggy up at 5.30am took its toll on her, much more than Clever Bird had realised. Why? Because even though she was in bed for 8.30pm, she wakes up every two hours (pretty much on the dot), and can't get straight back to sleep. Overall therefore, Baggy was maybe getting five or six hours sleep a night. Then the anxiety starts to kick in, which in Hormonal Hannah's case means that she starts to have nightmares, and her sleep becomes even more remote. Result - really bad depression, of the "I literally can't live like this"- variety.
Two things have now changed, firstly Grotty has a new time slot at the yard, of 7.30 instead of 6.30. Secondly, if Baggy is too tired, or Hannah is too low, Grotty just has to accept that she can't go and see her horses that day, as Baggy needs to get some more sleep! Now Wesley is actually quite fit, it's not so important that Grotty rides him every day anyway, so while ever he continues to live out in the paddock and get to exercise himself all day and night wandering around munching grass and dodging flies, he's not likely to go lame, and Grotty is going to give herself a break from the guilt-fest of not going to the yard every day. And Baggy is still going to bed at 8.30, so she's getting an extra hour's sleep, and it seems to have made a massive difference!
But there's another aspect to why Hannah has had a bit of a relapse, and that's also connected with the early starts - her days have become much longer! And no, that shouldn't be a bad thing should it? Unless you do suffer from depression that is; then it becomes a problem. A big one - loneliness, and too much time to think and fret. Heading into town to browse in shops, or sit in a café isn't really the option that it used to be, so Baggy stays inside, and Hannah sinks lower and lower. And Clever Bird is sure that she's not the only one who's going through this at present. People need other people; people need physical contact; people need hugs; people need smiles and conversations; people need to feel part of a family, a community, a group, but people who suffer from depression probably need all of this even more than most, and at the moment, most of those things are being denied them.
In Baggy's case, as number one furry is away all week, the only people getting any of this for most of the week, are Furry Mama and Grotty Groom, who at least are getting hugs and chats from Pepper Pooch, Bracket kat, Wesley and Joey. So Baggees, if you're struggling, don't do what Hannah has been doing and struggle in silence, because it simply makes matters worse! (You'd think that she'd have learnt that by now, but she didn't want to worry Calum). But naturally Calum knew full well that Hannah was in charge of Baggy, and because she wouldn't be honest and open about just how bad she had become, he got even more worried than if she'd spoken to him...
Note to readers: For the avoidance of any doubt, every character in this blog is Baggy! No Baggy was harmed in its writing, although some of them can get pretty confused!
