Things are getting worse!

Note to readers (my lovely Baggees): For the avoidance of any doubt - every character in this blog is me!!! No Baggy was harmed in its writing.

Baggy's daily state!
Depression (Black = really bad/Grey = not great/Blue = okay/Yellow = sunny day): Black.
Anxiety (From 1 = barely any to 10 = gibbering wreck standard): 3. 
Tears: Yep.

Every time that Clever Bird feels that maybe Hormonal Hannah could consider coming off the happy pills, her depression seems to reappear. She wishes that there was some logic to it. She wishes that there was a reason for it that she could understand. She wishes that she knew what the true cause of it was, when it started when she was still a child. She wishes that it wasn't there - but it is, almost constantly, just to a larger or lesser degree. Even on 'yellow' days, Baggy is never entirely free of the feeling of foreboding that she lives with.  

But sometimes even Clever Bird doesn't realise that Hannah is once again finding life hard. She's so used to 'putting a brave face on it', that she begins to believe her own false cheerfulness. This is not healthy for Baggy, because suddenly the mask cracks and everything becomes overwhelming once more. To anyone paying attention though, the signs are screamingly obvious:

• The house starts to look like a health hazard, because The Domestic Goddess just can't be bothered to tidy up, let alone actually vacuum or dust. 
• Wesley and Joey never see Grotty Groom, for reasons that even Clever Bird cannot begin to understand.
• Hannah doesn't want to leave the house, or talk to anyone except her furries and Baggy's sister.
• Baggy starts to eat comfort food, and pile on yet more weight, which in turn makes Hannah even more low'
• as does the state of the house, and not seeing her beloved horse.....go figure!

Slightly more positively, Creative Clara starts to get pretty busy in order to keep Hannah vaguely distracted. This time she may have lost the plot a little, but it's kept her entertained, making Pebble Pals. Meet:

Cyril Caterpillar

 

 

and his mate, Big Col.

 

 

Percy Pebble

 

 

his little pal Alan

 

Sebastian

 



 

Smiler

and last, but certainly not least,

Cilla Crocodile

So, apart from the house being a mess, it's also covered in beach pebbles, bits of wire, and quite a lot of sand! Unfortunately, Clara does keep getting rather too casual with the Super Glue, and Baggy frequently has mini pebble castanets attached to her fingers, but it distracts Hannah from her woes.

 

It's Monday of course, so Hannah feels particularly down, especially as number one furry worked on Saturday, so Baggy and the Pooch only had him for yesterday. As a result Pepper was a little low too - he misses his dad, so Furry Mama had to drag Baggy out to take him for a run. They just went to the old quarry behind the house. Baggy couldn't seem to breathe. The pooch got too hot! Freda Fretter was worried about them both by the time they got home again! Furry Mama hosed Pepper down and stayed with him until his excessive panting stopped, he then disappeared upstairs and went to sleep on the bed with Hinge cat. Clever Bird phoned the doctors' surgery to get the results of Baggy's blood tests. She had them done last Tuesday, to make sure that her anaemia was getting better.

 

Freda got a bit of a shock. Not only has it not got better - it has got worse!! How is that even possible? Her thingymejig-levels, that need to measure 30, and only measured 6, are now even lower!!!!! Freda didn't dare ask what they actually now are, but clearly 5 or less, Clever Bird is trying not to think about what happens if they get to 1. As there is still no obvious reason for her anaemia, a doctor will be calling her on Wednesday evening to discuss the options! Clever Bird was optimistic that the cause was either her piles, and/or her ulcer, but it's not looking that way! The Goddess and Calum have been feeding her steak, liver, spinach, tomatoes, fish, chicken and lots of other good stuff to help her iron levels, and since her gastroscopy, she's barely lost any blood, so how the heck has she got worse? But she has, and truthfully, she knew it before she got the results, as her breathlessness has got worse again, and she is probably sleeping for about fifteen hours a day - twelve hours at night (albeit not terribly well) and another two or three hours in the afternoon.

 

 

But at least The Goddess has got involved in distracting Freda and Hannah; and as of today, one room in the house is looking rather lovely again, but Furry Mama felt that Horace deserved to stay, even though he terrifies Baggy

 

 

He's a big bugger, although not as big as Henry who lives in the bathroom.......

 

 

Finally, a bit of Summer!

Note to readers (my lovely Baggees): For the avoidance of any doubt - every character in this blog is me!!! No Baggy was harmed in its writing.

Baggy's daily state!
Depression (Black = really bad/Grey = not great/Blue = okay/Yellow = sunny day): Grey
Anxiety (From 1 = barely any to 10 = gibbering wreck standard): 6. 
Tears: Some.

Firstly, Baggy would like to apologise for Creative Clara's absence for over a week, but Hormonal Hannah and the heat have combined to wipe her out rather! Combined with the fact that Baggy is still totally wiped out by her anaemia anyway, and the pills she's on for her stomach ulcer seem to be causing her to do an impersonation of a balloon, just before it gets so blown-up that it goes bang, she has been feeling a little sorry for herself! Probably as a direct result of these factors, the black cloud has been omnipresent once more. So to distract Hannah, Clara has been focussing on other things.

But at least the wonderful British summer finally arrived, providing Baggy with a little relief for three days - yep, it chucked it down! And wonderful it was too. In all honesty, it would have been more wonderful if Clever Bird had bothered to check the weather forecast, before Furry Mama and the pooch got to Dunwich beach at 7.00 in the morning, but still, it was a relief!

It's one of the few days in the last four or five weeks that Baggy hasn't had a constant pounding headache! And they're nigh on possible to shift now that Baggy is no longer to take ibuprofen or aspirin, because of her ulcer. The good news however is that Baggy has now had, not one, but two letters from Ipswich hospital, confirming that all the biopsies they took were benign. She also has the date for her follow-up gastroscopy and she went to see the GP who referred her, who has arranged more blood tests and a prescription for iron tablets, once she has been signed off by the endoscopy consultant. Baggy had intended to get the bloods done today, but felt too ill with yet another headache, so maybe tomorrow.

 Meanwhile, when they picked up Billy Bob Jalopy campervan from his MOT the other weekend, Baggy was given a polite, gentle, but nonetheless serious, "telling off" for not looking after him properly. To be fair, Freda Fretter knew that this was totally justified, as she couldn't even remember the last time that The Domestic Goddess had bothered washing him, let alone waxing him! And there was a beach inside, from Pepper's fur and Baggy's feet! It took about three hours (in the rain), but Billy Bob finally looked shiny and every bit of Baggy ached, but he looked like a different van. Encouraged by this, Creative Clara decided to make him more to her and number one furry's style! Because Billy Bob is still so original, he is more sought after, more so even than if he was 'restored'. Baggy and Cal love him, but after two years of owning him, want to personalise him. The one thing that isn't original is the curtains (although the original ones are still in him), so Clara decided to cheer them up - especially, as she hadn't realised that Calum hates them! Two days of sewing later.....

all the curtains are a little 'flowerier' and Billy Bob has his own special 'bunting'...

Meanwhile, to cheer him up yet further, Clara added a couple of throws, which will also protect the original seats.....

The front throw was bought at the Halesworth Brocante from Clara's earnings on Saturday, the back one was already in the house. Cal also acquired an original 1970's T2 coolbox!

Hormonal Hannah's safe place is now even more cosy!

The Brocante on Saturday, was once again a successful one for Clara, and she's looking forward to the Halesworth Street Fair on August 26th, especially as Baggy's sister is coming up for a few days! Freda is just praying that by then the summer is once again a little more English - but perhaps without the downpour..........