It's a Baggy life.

Sunday, 7 January 2018

Treats all round.

This morning Baggy asked number one furry where he fancied going with Furry Mama and the pooch today, "Dunwich Heath? Southwold? Dunwich? Walberswick?".

"I'm not bothered", very grumpy voice.

He headed off to the bathroom. Clever Bird had a rethink. "Well where do you fancy going? I really don't mind".

He immediately said "To the horses". Baggy was rather surprised because he hasn't been interested in visiting the Boys for weeks. Hormonal Hannah knows that this is because he feels as bad as she does, that they're not doing anything with them, but Grotty Groom was absolutely delighted. It's a fact that Baggy never makes New Year's resolutions and she didn't start this year, but she did make Hormonal Hannah promise Grotty Groom that they would spend more time with the horses. And that this year they would get the Boys fit once more and start to do things with them. They seem to have benefitted no end from having a year off. But now they, Calum and Grotty need to get back into their adventures! So the fact that Calum really wanted to see Joey was a good start - and Clever Bird has a plan! (But she explain that if it comes together).

Furry Mama decided that perhaps they should go to the beach and wear the pooch out first, but Clever bird decided against it. The temptation to go straight home after a long beach walk would be too much, so Baggy drove them all straight to the yard. Baggy was of course completely inappropriately dressed, as she hadn't realised that Grotty would be in action. Calum headed straight in to see his Boy Joey. Furry Mama took Pepper to the indoor school for a hurtle about after his ball for half an hour. She wanted him to be tired enough that he'd sleep in Billy Bob while Grotty was with her horse. Well, it sort of worked. He was physically tired, but too stressed that Furry Mama had left him to settle. As Baggy walked away from him, Pepper started a frantic barking. But Grotty was determined, so Furry Mama closed her heart and kept walking. Hormonal Hannah was probably even more pleased to see Wesley than Grotty was, as he always makes her feel better, and Wessles was delighted to see her.

He was especially delighted as Furry Mama had brought Minty Mutt's Furminator comb with her. It doesn't just get his (already) moulting coat out, it gives him a jolly good scratch as well. Happy Boy. Grotty took his plaits out and redid them.

Clever Bird realised that although Wessles is super hairy and covered in stable stains from chilling out in his straw, he's looking really well. A tad portly - but still with top line, even though he's done no work for a year. Once Grotty had groomed him, she also realised that he is incredibly shiny, so he's definitely feeling well.

Joey loved his groom from Calum, and when he'd finished Cal sat on the tack box outside his stable door, and Joey snuffled Cal's hair, then lifted his lip to get the full scent. "What are you doing my Boy?"
"Just making sure that I remember your smell properly Dad - and of course if I'm cute enough, you might give me another parsnip.....

.....oh, go on Dad, please. I love you lots."

"Of course, I haven't had anything from Mum yet either, which isn't on because I know that Wesley has. And I saw you give him a treat too!"

Freda Fretter tried not to let Grotty get Baggy's clothes too covered in horse hair, but it wasn't easy. At least he didn't stand on her gorgeous new boots (a Christmas present from her lovely sister).

By the time Grotty had finished, Baggy was tired and Hannah was grinning from ear to ear. Wesley is one very special angel, and Baggy knows how fortunate she is to be his human. He'll be seventeen this year, so he's catching up with Baggy in years. Maybe he'll be a little easier to ride - highly unlikely, but Grotty can hope.

Treats for both Boys before they headed home.

Pepper Pooch was fast asleep on the back shelf of Billy Bob Jalopy campervan, until he saw Furry Mama and Calum returning, then he leapt off, tail wagging, ready to head home. It's been a really lovely day.........

Saturday, 6 January 2018

Baggy trousers!

For those of you wondering about just how nuts Baggy's new baggy trousers are, and quite what effect they have when teamed with her Birthday present from number one furry - here you go......

Clever Bird has no idea why this outfit should attract any extra attention - but for whatever reason it does, at least she's not just another "invisible" middle-aged/old woman!

Anyway, the outfit is warm and comfy and Calum isn't embarrassed to walk with Baggy, so that's all that matters! In fact Baggy is feeling the urge to order herself another pair (or two). Hopefully they won't fall off her if she ever manages to lose some of her excess weight again. They shouldn't do, as the beautiful girl who models them is a petite size 8!!

Meanwhile, Creative Clara's still using Calum's laptop. So today they pootled over to Diss to go to a computer shop to buy a mains lead. It turns out that there's nothing wrong with the lead that Cal bought on t'internet. What is wrong, is that Clever Bird has broken the hole that the lead fits in to. When the pooch chewed the original lead, Clever Bird used the one from her old laptop. The only problem with that, not so clever plan, being that it wasn't the right size. So she fiddled with it a lot to keep it connected, and broke the hole it fits in to. Her laptop is now at the shop for the hole to be fixed.

It might be time for Dodgy truck to go to a new home, so on the way back they popped into the garage that bought Baggy's Fiat to see whether they would be interested in him. Of course he's not exactly your run of the mill vehicle, so they need to do research. One of the questions was how long his MOT was valid for. Cal said "Until March I think". They checked on the database. No. Not March. Now! Clever Bird does not understand why a reminder isn't sent out by the DVLA - well she probably does, it'll be down to cost, as they don't get the income from the MOT - but it's very frustrating. It's especially annoying, as he's been in the garage for the last two weeks having new brakes fitted. Sigh. Baggy might therefore be Billy Bob-less for the week so that Cal can get to work. That will wear a couple of ounces off Baggy! Every cloud and all that..........

Friday, 5 January 2018

Positive stuff.

Clever Bird's plan for the day: hang about for British Gas to install a clever meter, sorry, a smart meter. They would arrive some time between 10.00am and 2.00pm. Baggy struggled to get up, she was still so tired, but at least Hormonal Hannah seemed a little chirpier. The chap arrived at 10.30 and was promptly leapt on by a demented puppy - fortunately he liked dogs! After much discussion about the antiquity of Baggy's electrical system, Clever Bird and the nice chap agreed that a smart meter was not such a clever idea at this time. So Baggy got her day back.

As Pepper was such a good boy yesterday, being in Billy Bob with Baggy for nearly four hours, and not getting a proper walk, Furry Mama decided that she'd take him to the beach. Southwold being the nearest, they pootled over there - in the rain. Clever Bird thought that this would be no bad thing, as Southwold would be really quiet. Wrong! It wasn't! In fact Baggy couldn't park in her usual place. But there was space above the promenade.

The tide was in. And the sea was wild and woolly. The positive ions were leaping about like little natural happy pills. The wind blew the cobwebs away and cleared Baggy's fuddled brain. The pooch got so excited that he was beside himself. Baggy's new mad trousers and jacket were getting some really funny looks, but even Freda Fretter didn't care! Life's too short to be grey - well no, you're right baggetts, Baggy likes being grey! In fact she's been having nightmares recently about not being grey! That a hairdresser has dyed her hair without her realising and she was traumatised by it. Not as silly as it sounds, as it's taken her four years to grow the colour out, and she likes what she has now. So let's try that again, life's too short to be beige! So between the madly coloured Baggy and the madly charging about pooch, they were getting stared at and even got photographed a few times. It's amazing how the seaside uplifts Hannah and for that matter the pooch.

Furry Mama decided to be kind to number one furry and do the food shopping, as she was fairly confident that after an hour and twenty minutes of hurtling after a ball, Pepper would not stress too much in Billy Bob. When they got home Pepper slept like a log. The Domestic Goddess packed away the holiday cottage Christmas decorations in a crate to go in the attic. Made some healthy lunch; then ruined it by giving Baggy a mince pie, followed by Christmas cake and cheese. Waaaaaaaah! Number one arrived home a little while ago, a lot earlier than Baggy was expecting. The pooch lost the plot with bouncy happiness. Calum seemed just as pleased to see the pooch. A Baggy could be hurt really, when she comes a poor second to the pooch in the queue for a hug.........

Thursday, 4 January 2018

Well there was a plan.

Note to readers (my lovely Baggetts): For the avoidance of any doubt - every character in this blog is me!!! No Baggy was harmed in its writing!

Baggy's daily state!
Depression (Black = really bad/Grey = not great/Blue = okay/Yellow = sunny day): Grey.
Anxiety (From 1 = barely any to 10 = gibbering wreck standard): 5.
Tears: Yep.
Overall day: Not quite to plan.

Baggy came downstairs this morning to discover that Furry Mama's beautiful slippers were a little worse for wear! Excuse the quality of the photos baggetts, but do you see what Baggy has to contend with?

Today's plan was to take The Domestic Goddess over to the holiday cottage, so that she could take the Christmas decorations down. She collected crates, bags and boxes to pack everything in. Furry Mama put Pepper Pooch in Billy Bob Jalopy campervan first. He immediately hopped onto the front seats. He likes to travel with his Mama. So Freda Fretter attached his harness to the passenger seat and left him there while The Goddess put the crate in. The drive was interesting. High winds and lots of floods, with a soft pooch head on Furry Mama's knee as she drove, but Baggy made good time, and they were there by 11.30am. Clever Bird decided to unlock the cottage and take her bag and camera in before she let Pepper out of Billy Bob. Then she'd get the crate before taking him in. She left Billy Bob's side door open. She unlocked the front door of the cottage and there was the Christmas tree and all the decorations, packed up in a box, sitting on the dining table. The Goddess has the best caretaker ever! Furry Mama went and got the pooch.

He proceeded to throw himself all over the sofa, upside down, on his head, with his paws in the air! Scent-marking seems to be his security blanket. Freda Fretter panicked a little, but he was clean so it was okay. The cottage looked lovely as always. Baggy was slightly at a loss as to what to do as The Goddess's task was already complete. Gloria Gardener decided to do a little inspection. As the next guests (currently), are not due until the end of the month, and Clever Bird doesn't think they'll be wanting to barbeque anything, she decided to cover it. Unfortunately, the covers are all in the shed. The padlocked shed. The padlock which The Goddess doesn't appear to have a key to. Grrrrr! Meanwhile the pooch was hurtling around the nice big flat garden like a demented puppy, every now and again jumping on Furry Mama in his excitement. He was going so fast he was doing skid turns, with his ears flapping out behind him.

Clever Bird decided to put the barbeque in the guest's shed. It was too expensive to leave out rusting in the rain. Baggy managed to manoeuvre it on its wheels to the shed, as Pepper hurtled round her, She couldn't get it through the door though. It was too wide. Then she realised that the side shelf bent down - success! Next, she put the fire pit in the summerhouse as it was acting like a bird bath. As she shut the doors she noticed that the bottom hinge was coming off the door. Clever Bird suspects that Storm Eleanor might have literally ripped it off its hinges. Repairs needed. The pooch continued to entertain himself. With nothing else to usefully do, Baggy decided to take The Goddess home. She locked up the back, and opened the front door. Pepper shot out - straight through the gates that Hormonal Hannah had left open - straight into the road - straight in front of a (thankfully, very slow moving) car - straight into Billy Bob, who was still completely open. Thanks Hannah! Fortunately, the driver of the car grinned and waved, but Furry Mama had terrible memories of Minty Mutt getting run over by a car and breaking his leg really badly, at exactly the age that Pepper now is, when he too ran straight into a road. A bit like that situation, when Minty thought that he was being left behind, Pepper just wanted to make sure he wasn't being left at the holiday cottage.

They were home once more by 2.00pm. Baggy's baggy winter trousers had arrived. Yay. And despite Baggy being so tall and once again, seriously overweight, they fit. Okay most of you baggetts will probably think they are horrendous, they really are baggy, the crutch is below Baggy's knees - harem pants style - but Baggy loves them and they cheered Hannah up no end! And they are not just warm and snuggly, they are super comfy as they are not cutting Baggy in half, like her jeans currently do - oh the joys of Christmas over indulging. Just excuse Creative Clara for a moment please baggetts, The Goddess has just rustled her up some Christmas cake with four cheeses - well it would be wrong to throw it away......

P.S. If you're wondering why the tears today baggetts, well as Baggy was driving she was listening to an 86-year old lady on the radio. At age 11 she had been in the tragedy at Bethnal Green underground station, when 173 people were killed on the stairs, as panic ensued when the air-raid sirens went off, closely followed by anti-aircraft fire. They've now erected a memorial to this tragedy and the whole interview was incredibly moving.

P.P.S. Hormonal Hannah has just discovered the Ritz cheese crackers. Sigh.

Wednesday, 3 January 2018

And down with a crash!

Note to readers (my lovely Baggetts): For the avoidance of any doubt - every character in this blog is me!!! No Baggy was harmed in its writing.
Baggy's daily state!
Depression (Black = really bad/Grey = not great/Blue = okay/Yellow = sunny day): Grey.
Anxiety (From 1 = barely any to 10 = gibbering wreck standard): 7.
Tears: Quite a few.
Overall day(s): Challenging.

Once again sincere apologies for vanishing baggetts! And a slightly belated, very Happy New Year to you all; let's hope 2018 is a great one for everyone.

Explanations. Well unfortunately after the best Christmas Baggy's ever had, Hormonal Hannah brought her back down to earth with a crash on New Year's day. She woke feeling terrible - no baggetts, nothing to do with a hangover, the only drink Baggy consumed on New Year's Eve was tea - the pesky black cloud was back. And almost worse than that, Hannah's anxiety was almost off the Richter scale. Some of the anxiety was well placed. Furry Mama was very worried about Hinge cat, who was really poorly once more. She was also dreading number one furry going back to work, after having spent nearly two weeks with him. And Pepper Pooch had restarted the frantic scratching. Calum's Dodgy Truck's brakes failed, so he had to go to the garage. And Creative Clara couldn't even get on her laptop (even if she'd felt confident enough to write her blog), because the mains lead that Clever Bird had used for it after Pepper Pooch ate the real one, finally snapped because it didn't fit properly! The battery then died. And Clever Bird couldn't work out for love nor money, how to use Cal's laptop - or perhaps more accurately, Hannah got in a short-tempered strop when trying to figure out a) how to use Windows 10, when she's used to Windows 8 and b) how to get on any of Baggy's apps. when the laptop thought it was Calum on it! So, a few days off to try and regroup!

Before going back to work, Calum kindly ordered Creative Clara a new lead for her laptop. To cheer herself up, as none of Baggy's clothes fit her because she's piled so much weight back on, Baggy ordered herself some winter baggy trousers. The mains lead isn't due for another four days. The trousers were due yesterday. Typical of Baggy's 2018 to date, there is no sign of the trousers and the mains lead arrived today - but it doesn't work! Or possibly it does, but Baggy's laptop's battery has died permanently. Clever Bird is pretty sure that isn't the case though. Much worse than those minor inconveniences, Hinge was so poorly by yesterday, that once again she spent the day in hospital, being "unblocked". The vet explained that she was only going to get worse over time. Every time she gets constipated her bowel stretches and her muscles fail a little more and eventually she won't be able to poo at all (sorry if you're eating baggetts), and she'll need major surgery. Poor little furry. It's agony for her and general anaesthetics every two or three months are not good. Being overweight doesn't help, so she's back on a diet and daily laxatives. As Bracket is now heavier than Hinge, Freda Fretter is worried that she might end up with the same problem. So that's Baggy, Calum, Hinge and Bracket, all on a diet. Well at least, Baggy and Calum will start next week, when all the mince pies, Christmas cake, crisps etc, have finally been demolished!

Yesterday, to try and take Hannah's mind off things, Furry Mama took Pepper Pooch to Southwold for a romp. This is a struggle at present because Hannah is back in that horrible place of not wanting to leave the house. But she feels "safe" in Billy Bob Jalopy campervan and as she hadn't left the house at all on New Year's day, the pooch deserved a treat. So did Baggy for that matter! New Year's Day had seen The Domestic Goddess go into overdrive: she took the Christmas decorations down; did loads and loads of washing; vacuumed; tidied and dusted - all day! Anything to keep Hannah occupied.

But New Year's Eve was different, They went out to a totally new (for Baggy and Pepper anyway), beach, at Covehithe. It's not far away, but it's a ten minute walk past pig cities, to get to the beach, so Clever Bird presumes a lot of people can't be bothered. The beach is amazing! The pebbles and shells on it were very different from anything you'll find at Southwold, even though it's literally just up the coast. Clara was in her element finding bits of glass and pottery.

Today Baggy is still struggling, but she was determined not to let Hannah totally beat her. Clara had a big order to post off, so Furry Mama and Pepper took her into town to post it. She popped into the vintage shop to collect her earnings. Took the pooch for a charge about in the flooded park. Then took Grotty Groom for a quick word with the Boys. Lunch. Then dog training. Home and Clever Bird has finally figured out how to use Calum's laptop. Well, needs must - can't have you baggetts worrying...........