Baggy is a very lucky person in many ways. She is particularly lucky that her mental health issues are not serious. Everything (well lots of things anyway), come(s) in degrees, and thankfully the depression and anxiety that Hormonal Hannah has caused Baggy to suffer, is relatively mild. This however does not stop it from having a fairly dramatic effect. This morning was a struggle. Baggy just wanted to stay in bed and not leave the duvet, or the comfort of three furries once again having hopped on the bed with her.
Depression, for anyone who hasn't (or thinks that they haven't) suffered it, is its own oxymoron. Why? Well because it's perfectly possible to be comfortable in your own skin, content with your lot and really very happy with life and able to count all your Blessings, while at the same time feeling an overwhelming sadness like a pressure on your chest. You can be smiling and talking to someone, even laughing with them, while fighting with yourself to not cry. You can be walking in the countryside thinking what a beautiful day it is, but feeling as though you don't want to be part of it. You can desperately want to go out, shopping, walking the mutt, meeting a friend, to see the horses, but not actually be able to bring yourself to do it. You can recognise all the good in your life while just thinking that you don't deserve any of it.
Then the anxiety kicks in: something is sure to go wrong - it always does. You don't deserve to be so fortunate and be feeling so low. You're just selfish for being like this. Other people would love to be in your position, so what on earth is the matter with you? And on, and on, with the cloud getting darker and more threatening.
But with help from a stress management course, counselling, HRT and happy pills and A LOT of help from Clever Bird and Baggy's number one furry, plus her family, friends and bloggees, Baggy feels as though she can finally handle Hormonal Hannah a little better. She might even be starting to understand her a bit, and to make friends with her. How? By keeping her so busy doing things with the rest of the gang, that she doesn't have time to think. It doesn't totally work. Grotty Groom hasn't been able to persuade Baggy to take her to see the Boys today, but frankly, they are so chilled they probably won't have noticed, especially as they got used to not seeing her for days at a time (see - GUILT!!!).
But Furry Mama and The Domestic Goddess have worked Baggy's socks off today. Now Clever Bird would just like to provide a word of advice here to all bloggees who might be moving house: when your Domestic God(dess) starts unloading your boxes, do not under any circumstances just merrily let them put random stuff in any available space - you will regret it later! Now perhaps your Domestic persona is really a God or Goddess, unlike Baggy's Domestic Goddess, whose middle names are "Not A", but if you let them do this, you will soon a) run out of space b) not be able to find anything and c) have to entirely re-pack, re-move and re-store everything - more than once. Baggy's Goddess has so far today spent nearly two hours trying to reclaim one of the most useful storage spaces in the house - a little walk-in wardrobe/cupboard. The house is such a mess again - stuff from the garage, stuff from Realuv, stuff from emptied boxes with no home etc etc. Minty Mutt decided to help.
Gloria Gardener wasn't too impressed, but Furry Mama didn't mind.
Where to start?
Five hours later, not one room is yet re-claimed. How can two people have so much stuff? The Goddess decided to at least move some stuff back out of the house. The duvet, and pillows, plus all the covers from Calum's lorry were washed by her yesterday. He has pinched the ones from Billy Bob camper van, so Clever Bird decided to put Calum's ones into Billy Bob to try to re-claim the bathroom. The Goddess went to get the dry duvet cover from the airer in the bathroom. Hormonal Hannah started to get very grumpy when Baggy couldn't untangle the duvet cover from the airer. She lifted its legs, the duvet was still stuck - then it wriggled. Clever Bird finally realised that a certain Bracket kat was curled up asleep inside it............
No comments:
Post a Comment