Well Baggees, the previous two words have taken nearly four hours to produce!!!!!! If Creative Clara can get to the end of this blog, you will know why. In fact just in case she can't - this is her third attempt at publishing this blog!!!!!! Oh the irony. Why? Well because the blog was/is all about her challenges with new technology. So here goes nothing:
Clever Bird is struggling to cope with both a new phone and a new laptop at the same time. She has in fact had to 'restart' her phone this afternoon, as having retrieved it from her handbag the torch was on. After ten minutes of trying to figure out how to turn it off, or indeed how she'd turned it on in the first place, she gave up and switched the phone off. Clever Bird is slowly beginning to figure out how to use it generally, but clearly there's lots more to learn. She needs to get it a case as well. The screen is a tad over sensitive. Apparently she's frequently pocket-calling Calum and as for accidental photos - well they magically appear!
Creative Clara says 'magically', because even Clever Bird can't quite believe how Clara can take photos on her phone, and get home and without her doing anything, there they are on her laptop. Well no Baggees, of course you're right, they're not 'on' her laptop, they're in the internet ether - but they're accessible from her laptop. Clever! She also decided to let every app. track her every move, so the photos aren't just there, they're filed: Southwold on Monday; Dunwich Heath on Saturday. Freda Fretter did wonder whether this was wise - letting the invisible powers-that-be follow her around, but then she used to worry about Clara sharing her life in a blog. No more. And Clever Bird recognises the advantages: if Furry Mama does actually get swept out to sea, at least big brother will know where she went; if Grotty Groom does ever start riding the Boy Wessles again, and parts company with him in the middle of nowhere, at least big brother will know where she landed.
What's more, the ether doesn't just save and file Clara's photos, she has her own personal Google assistant, who makes her special effect photos, or collages. Clever stuff, and entirely beyond Clever Bird's comprehension as to how it all happens. But who cares - it just does, and that's the wonderful (scary) world of today. It's the same world that lets people from all over it read about a mad woman called Baggy Body.
So here are today's efforts, and accidents at the beach:
Now Baggy has an excuse for these, well she doesn't, but try and hold a ball-thrower under one arm, while a dog jumps on you to get you to be quicker at throwing the ball, as you try to fish a hanky out of your bag, while holding the phone in the other hand. Trust Clever Bird, it's not easy!
Clara quite likes the last one! Baggy's Google assistant made these into a wonderful GIF, but Clever Bird can't work out how to share it in the blog.
There was also an amazing piece of driftwood, that had it not weighed a ton, Clara would happily have taken home. For a few seconds, Archaeologist Annie thought that she might have discovered the next Sea Henge, you know Baggees, like the one they discovered at Hunstanton in Norfolk, a ring of wooden posts with an inverted oak tree at its centre - well an archaeologist can fantasise.
As Furry Mama enjoyed the stunning autumn day, dreaming of the cappuccino she was going to enjoy when she got to the café, the pooch carried on doing his thing.
With a relaxed Hormonal Hannah and an exhausted pooch in tow, Baggy drove Grotty Groom to the yard to see her Boys. As always the oversized shaggy angel of a coloured cob, forgave Grotty her absence and was just pleased to see her.
Although Joey has a very funny way of showing it, so was he!
Grotty spent a happy hour or so grooming them, getting Baggy covered in stinky, dirty stuff, while the pooch slept. He decided when he got to the yard that he'd rather stay in Billy Bob Jalopy campervan, than be in a stable:
'Well of course Mum, it's warmer, comfier, safer and I know that you can't leave without me.'
He had a point, not of course that Furry Mama would ever leave without him!
So, when they got home, after a bite of lunch, Clara started to write her blog, on her new laptop (also known as, Calum's laptop, that he's always swearing about). Two hours later, and just as she was getting to about this point, she started to type a new sentence, and whoosh - no blog!! Nada. Nothing. It had gone. Clever Bird pressed the 'undo' button, it removed the one and only remaining part of her blog, the 'B'. After much swearing and a cup of tea, Clara started again. This time, she just did an edited highlights version, of what had just happened. She added some photos, went to type a new sentence, and whoosh - no blog!! Nada. Nothing. It had gone. Clever Bird pressed the 'undo' button, it removed the one and only remaining part of her blog, the 'T'.
This time Hormonal Hannah lost it! Clever Bird decided she must have hit some ****ing shortcut key that deleted it, but how could that be when once it was a 'B', then a 'T'? She needed to rant, so Baggy phoned Calum. After much swearing and a good rant, Calum asked, 'Where was the arrow?'
'What arrow?'
'The little thingy-arrow.'
'Oh right, that one. No idea.'
'Well if it was on delete........'
Yep that made sense to Clever Bird. Cal's computer will open things if the thingy-arrow hovers on it. Baggy's computer has more sense, it waits for her to click on an item before it opens it - or deletes a whole ****ing blog!
It is now 6.35pm GMT. Clara started this blog at 1.00pm - see how much Baggy loves you Baggees, and for that matter, how much calmer Hormonal Hannah is!! She decided to start again - ON HER OLD LAPTOP. Time for a glass of wine! Baggy's earned it, and having not drunk for months and months, she needs to get a little practise in before going to her sister's at Christmas.......
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