It was brilliant for Baggy to have number one furry home for over a week, and to have her sister staying for a few days as well. Pepper Pooch quite enjoyed having his cousin, Pickle Dog staying too - although Bracket kat wasn't terribly impressed. All-in-all it was wonderful.
And yet, even during the festive period, Clever Bird could feel the beginnings of Hormonal Hannah's anxiety building. For those of you who suffer from clinical depression, and/or anxiety, it will come as no surprise that the reason that Creative Clara hasn't blogged since Christmas Day, is because since Calum went back to work and Debby and Pickle went home, Hannah has hit a bad patch.
As Calum is usually away at work for five days a week, having him at home for ten days, was a treat. Baggy misses him when he's away, and she spends so much time alone, that she does get lonely. Additionally, having her sister staying for five of those days, meant that instead of her usual isolation, Baggy had constant company. When Baggy woke on January 2nd, (extremely late, because she's sleeping appallingly), Debby had already left to get home, and Calum had left for work at 2.30am; so it was a bit of a shock to Hannah's system.
In some ways, Baggy loved getting her routine back. When you're used to being alone most of the time, and to doing your own thing as and when you want, without having to consider anybody else; having constant company (even company that you literally love), can be a little exhausting. But when they're suddenly gone, the house seems so quiet and empty, and rather than welcoming back her space, Baggy felt lost. Clever Bird had already recognised the signs that Hannah's depression was lurking in the background, when Cal and Debby were still with her, and yet it was still a shock when the black cloud swamped her.
It's just not something that you get used to Baggees. Even when all the signs are there: nightmares, poor sleep, tiredness, tears, snappiness, aches and pains - depression still somehow sneaks up on you. In fact, Creative Clara doesn't really want to write about it, there are so many worse things happening! The world is on the brink of collapse; Baggy has close friends who've lost loved ones recently, or who are suffering from much worse illnesses, and yet in many ways that can make depression feel even worse for the sufferer. There's often no logic to when the black cloud might arrive and even when there is, it's a ghastly feeling - yet it's a real feeling and trying to dismiss it because other people are going through far worse, is really not helpful!
Baggy was told by her doctor to take Hormonal Hannah back in to see her if the depression got bad again, but currently Clever Bird is stopping her from making an appointment. Why? Well, because she can't see the point. Baggy isn't able to go back onto antidepressants as they eat her insides and give her ulcers, so she doesn't see what good it would do.
Yeah Baggees, Clever Bird is probably being stupid, as is her way, but for now, she has a Plan B! Plan B is to use the gang members who are still operative to keep Hannah going. Furry Mama is increasing the length of walks that she takes the pooch on. The Domestic Goddess will be dragged out of hiding to get the house looking good, and to start cooking some healthy meals, because Baggy has signed up to a new Healthy Living plan. Gloria Gardener will be collecting leaves and doing some planting-planning. And as soon as Hannah can be persuaded to let her, Grotty Groom will be getting back to her horses (who she now hasn't seen since before Christmas). And if these actions fail to get Hannah back on track, then (and only then), will she visit her doctor once more...
Note to readers: For the avoidance of any doubt, every character in this blog is Baggy! No Baggy was harmed in its writing, although some of them get pretty confused!
No comments:
Post a Comment