Baggy's daily state!
Depression (Black = really bad/Grey = not great/Blue = okay/Yellow = sunny day): Yellow.
Anxiety (From 1 = barely any to 10 = gibbering wreck standard): 3.
Tears: Quite a few.
Apologies for the absence Baggees, there are good and not-so-good reasons for this, which Creative Clara has decided to share with you. The good ones: Baggy's sister has been to stay for a few days and they had a lovely time. She arrived early last Thursday - really early Bless her - she was up at 3.30am! But Baggy knew she'd be early so she was up and waiting with a hug, when Debby arrived at 8.00. Not that she could get a hug until a certain pooch had leapt on her for quite a while! So of course, after a quick cuppa, they took Pepper for a ball chase, while Baggy and Debby chatted. Freda Fretter was worrying about the time, as Baggy had her doctor's appointment to get to at 10.40.
Of course the pooch decided at this point to do his vanishing act, but they made it to the surgery with five minutes to spare. Deb stayed in Billy Bob with Pepper. Baggy used the automated sign-in service: 'Sorry, but you are too early to sign in.' What? Ah, that would be because it was 9.35am! If she had a brain......
Into town for a cappuccino before attempt two. As Baggy walked into the doctor's office, she said, 'How are you feeling?'
'Yeah, okay thanks.'
'Really? I'm surprised you could even get out of your chair.'
'Oh, no I'm good.'
'Well I'm worried about you. Your blahedy-blah level is so low that I'm surprised you have any energy at all. You're severely anaemic.'
'I am quite tired.'
The doctor wanted to check Baggy's abdomen. 'That's a very neat scar, what's that from?'
'Oh yes, that's where they removed Lawrence.' The doctor laughed, 'he was my durmoid cyst.'
After a bit of a proddling, the doctor said that she was going to refer Baggy. 'What are you thinking?' asked Freda Fretter, while Baggy grinned casually at the doctor, who was looking a little sheepish.
'I am concerned that it might be bowel cancer.'
'Yes, I thought you might say that. I know I shouldn't have, but I've been googling. I also read my cards and asked if I had a serious illness.'
'And what did they say?'
'Yes, I have! But I'll be okay.'
'Okay - no more googling, and no more Tarot cards unless they say good things!'
Pepper was waiting patiently with Debby, who instantly asked how it went. Baggy told her, and the bravery vanished, Freda started to cry. Pepper was concerned, so she stopped. They decided to head to the beach. It was rather chilly at Dunwich Heath, but Debby was soon hooked on pebble collecting, and Baggy just enjoyed the peace of the sea, while Furry Mama entertained the pooch. They all went to the beach each day, and on Saturday, number one furry joined them too.
Truthfully, it wasn't easy Baggees. Not surprisingly Baggy is scared. Yes she's been told she probably had cancer once before when Lawrence-the-durmoid-cyst was found. 'It looks as if you may have ovarian cancer.' But terrifying as that was, Clever Bird just knew that she didn't have cancer, because she didn't feel ill enough. And fortunately, as you all know she was right.
This time however, Clever Bird is not so sure. She hopes it's nothing that serious, but she does feel much more ill than she did with Lawrence. Lawrence just hurt - a lot, but other than that Baggy was fine. This is different, but it may just be the anaemia that is making her feel so rough, and with luck, the anaemia will have been caused by something more innocent than cancer. Like 'piles'. Yes, Baggees, 'yuck', too much information, but frankly Clever Bird hopes that's what it is!!
So, being on the beaches with her beloved sister (who is now also addicted to pebble collecting),
her gorgeous husband,
and Pepper-the-wonder-pooch,
was tainted by worry. The letter had already arrived, to say that Baggy has to attend Ipswich Hospital on Tuesday 19th at 4.20, so they were all trying to have a lovely time, with the possibility of the Big C hanging over them. Baggy doesn't want to worry Calum, so Clever Bird starts to play things down about how she's feeling. She went through this with Lawrence too. It's the waiting and not knowing, that's so hard. Once you know what you're dealing with, it's somehow easier to handle. Otherwise it's too easy to think the worst. But Clever Bird knows from Baggy's Lawrence experience, that she's unlikely to know any more, one way or another, for a few more weeks. Sigh.
So, as life is definitely too short, it's best to enjoy it. And what's not to enjoy about a beach?
Both Calum and Debby are being their usual wonderful, supportive selves, but it's not easy for them. Apart from the fact that they are both obviously worried sick about Baggy, Deb lives a couple of hours away, and Cal has only just started in a new job. What is it with Baggy's life? She's said it before, and she'll undoubtedly say it again, but every time she's really happy, she can guarantee that something will go horribly wrong!
Stupid as it probably sounds, the thing that is worrying Freda the most at the moment, is how Pepper is going to manage when she has to go to Ipswich on Tuesday. Time to go and grovel to the neighbours.........
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