Baggy's daily state!
Depression (Black = really bad/Grey = not great/Blue = okay/Yellow = sunny day): Yellow.
Anxiety (From 1 = barely any to 10 = gibbering wreck standard): 2.
Tears: None.
Life likes to throw curve-balls at people. It wouldn't be a terribly interesting life if it didn't chuck in a challenge or two every now and again. Clever Bird realises that some people have way more than their fair share of them though, and occasionally they're so bad that they cannot be swerved. Then it becomes a question of how people deal with them. With illnesses in particular, people seem to have very different ways of coping. Some tell no one - because they want to handle things on their own, and don't want to worry friends and relatives, especially if it's a serious problem. Some make a drama out of the slightest sniffle and tell the whole world that they're dying. Some play it down, and say they're fine, when clearly they're not. Some, like Baggy, have made a habit of sharing their problems with the ether, in the hope that their experiences may just help someone going through something similar.
When Creative Clara was writing about Baggy's Lawrence-the-durmoid-cyst surgery and hysterectomy, or her cubital tunnel surgeries, that was probably a little weird for some people, but operations are operations, so that's fair enough and other people like to know what goes on, how long it takes to recover and so forth. Even the fun she went through last weekend in the endoscopy department, yes weird for some people to read about, but for others who've either been there, or are going there, it maybe of some help to them - they're surgical procedures that are always the same - although with lots of different outcomes. But when it comes to mental health issues, it gets way more difficult!
Baggy wasn't aware that she was suffering from depression and anxiety when Clara started her first blog www.baggybodys.blogspot.com back in 2015, although re-reading it now, it was pretty obvious really! Truthfully, Freda Fretter wouldn't have had the courage to let Clara write about Baggy's depression as an original blog. It only happened because Baggy was diagnosed when Clara had already been blogging about Baggy's life for some considerable time. Clever Bird (eventually) made Clara write about it because she has always tried to be completely open and honest about Baggy's life - warts and all! But one person's depression is another person's 'good day'. It's not like a surgical procedure. Apart from the fact that there's no obvious external evidence of depression, it also effects people in very different ways.
Baggy's depression and anxiety are considered by the experts to be 'mild'. Having said that, Clever Bird is aware that she's on a fairly high dose of Sertraline at 100mg per day - but it helps, dramatically, so that's fine. Yet people still cringe when Baggy merrily announces that she takes happy pills. Even the pharmacists, and receptionists at the doctors' surgery, will point to the word Sertraline, rather than saying it out loud, in case they should cause Baggy embarrassment. Unfortunately, as Baggy is now blind as a bat without her reading glasses on, this is not terribly helpful.
For what it's worth, Clever Bird finds that it does help to talk about her depression, especially to her ever supportive number one furry husband. If she doesn't let him know that the black fug is over her, or her anxiety levels are off the scale, her moods, or snappiness could be taken personally. Baggy is lucky in many ways, her depression is only a sloppy curve ball really. The happy pills seem to work for her, and talking (and writing) helps. But sometimes, (often truthfully), Hormonal Hannah thinks that she should not be talking about it at all, because so many people are so much worse off than her. But sadly in life, no matter how bad things are, someone else will be suffering more, yet that doesn't make what you are going through any less valid., so whatever the problem is, Clever Bird would recommend that you consider talking to someone about it, to get some support........
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