Women's problems.

Yesterday Baggy commenced the sixtieth year of her life, for which Clever Bird is extremely grateful. Yes Baggy's had a few scares along the way, but currently, although overweight and extremely achy all over, she's in good health. Since she came off the anti-depressants a couple of months ago, her depression seems to have become less frequent and her anxiety is also not as problematic. Regular trips for Furry Mama and the pooch to the beach certainly help with this, although possibly not with the aches and pains! Yesterday's amble along Southwold beach was a reminder that this country can get cold!

Do you like the sexy look Baggees? Baggy had on thermal long-johns and long sleeved top, under her baggy fleece trousers, Birthday socks from number one furry (made from bamboo - toasty), walking boots, two jumpers, then her fleece-lined shaggy jacket, her posh pac-a-mac, mittens, a silk scarf, a silk and wool scarf, the mad furry neck thingy and a fleece-lined hat with another scarf attached, and she was still frozen! It might look pleasant in this photo, but the wind was ferocious and the rain had ice in it. (Okay yes, all you Baggees who live in properly cold countries, you're right, this is of course nothing in comparison, but for southern England, trust Clever Bird, it was cold!!) Not that the pooch cared. He still charged about. He still got hot. But even he decided that going into the sea would be inadvisable.

It was in fact so cold that by the time they got back to Billy Bob Jalopy campervan, Baggy struggled to get her mac off! And Pepper was keen to have his towelling robe on.

When they got home The Domestic Goddess made an unexpected appearance! Having tidied the kitchen, she decided to make Baggy a healthy supper. Baggy had a lot of success with Slimming World, losing three-and-a-half stone, but she put it all back on again, plus some. Clever Bird believes that this might not have happened, had Baggy carried on going to her group, but having moved a ninety-minute drive away, that wasn't possible. So Baggy is trying again. She's doing it her own way, but following much of the Slimming World theories. Last night she cooked a chicken, sweet potato and squash tagine - this included using proper stuff, like saffron!! Clara told you that The Goddess was actually beginning to warrant her name, did she not Baggees? Baggy had it with cous cous and it was lovely. Mind you her efforts at cooking the cous cous were not as successful as the tagine. Clever Bird is considering getting The Goddess to cook some more for Clara to use on her figures instead of superglue! The good news is that so far she has lost a stone without giving up pizzas and cakes.

The sea is so rough at present that it's throwing up all kinds of treasures for Creative Clara. It was too cold yesterday for Clara to even look, but this little lot is from today's amblings. Clara can feel fairies appearing already.

But look what else she found Baggees, a perfect little glass container with a powder in it.

Without thinking, (typical of  the stupid woman), Baggy took the top off - it's a little stopper - and sniffed the contents. It smelt awful, but could it possibly be saffron? What kind of a weird coincidence would that be? The Goddess had never used saffron before yesterday. Worry not though Baggees, Freda Fretter will not be using it.

This afternoon Baggy had to go to the doctors' for one of those women-things. She had the letter a few weeks ago and ignored it. Then another one, 'You are due for your routine cervical smear test'. Clever Bird decided that maybe she had better go, even though she hates having them. The nurse asked her how she was feeling. 'Very anxious, I hate these.'
'It'll be over very quickly. When was your last test?'
'No idea.'
'Three or five years ago?'
'Probably five I should think.'
'Ah yes, here it is,' she said tapping into her computer, 'it was 2013 and it was normal.'
'Well I've had a full hysterectomy since then, thanks to Lawrence-the-durmoid-cyst. They whipped everything out, including my ovaries. In fact I wondered whether I still had a cervix.'

Much discharge letter searching and discussing with two other nurses, later, it was decided that there was no need for Baggy to have a cervical smear, in fact it wouldn't even be possible, as she no longer has a cervix. So that was a waste of time for the NHS, but Freda Fretter was just delighted to be out of there and to know that Baggy will never have to go through the pain and ignominy again. Thanks Lawrence, you had one use at least......... 


Note to readers (my lovely Baggees): For the avoidance of any doubt - every character in this blog is me!!! No Baggy was harmed in its writing.

Baggy's daily state!
Depression (Black = really bad/Grey = not great/Blue = okay/Yellow = sunny day): Yellow.
Anxiety (From 1 = barely any to 10 = gibbering wreck standard): 5. 
Tears: Uh huh.  
Baggy: 211.