Sisters!

Note to readers: For the avoidance of any doubt, every character in this blog is Baggy! No Baggy was harmed in its writing, although some of them get pretty confused!

Depression: Absent.
Anxiety: Probably, of the justified type.
Tears: A lot.
Laughs: Loads.

Baggy has been having the loveliest of weeks! Her sister has been (and still is) staying in sunny Suffolk for a holiday, as (coincidentally at the same time) is one of Baggy's closest friends. As a result, even Hormonal Hannah has been being social! It's been perfect timing in many ways, as it's keeping Baggy busy, and vaguely taking Freda Fretter's mind off Baggy's impending cataract surgery on Thursday. The boiling hot weather has reduced to a more pleasant sunny summer temperature which Baggy can almost cope with! And as threatened in a previous blog; the woman has actually been in the sea!!

Baggy bought herself a swimsuit, that she didn't feel too self-conscious wearing, so she had no excuse not to brave the sea.  Of course Baggy was incapable of just swimming like a normal person! Pickle dog was not at all sure what her Auntie was doing, floundering around like some giant walrus....

But it cheered Baggy up, especially when on swim session number three, Furry Mama got to do doggy-paddle with Pepper Pooch!

Naturally, in classic Clever Bird style, Baggy totally over did it, and ached all over the following day! But she even persuaded her sister to get in the sea as well. Very therapeutic.

Naturally, much nattering has taken place, along with eating and walking - sadly not enough walking to out-weigh the eating, and as a result Baggy has piled some pounds back on, but it's been worth it.

The sea was pretty spectacular at Walberswick this morning!

  
And Baggy and Debby and the pooches couldn't resist sitting watching it for a while. Albeit that Baggy looked like a mad sea anemone by the time the wind had finished with her hair!

Beach life equals happy life! Especially for Hormonal Hannah who has been a little ragged around the edges recently, worrying about various things. Although, Grotty Groom has also assisted there (in the 'happy life' stakes that is, not the worrying)! She's been spotted a few times in the last couple of weeks. Most recently, at the weekend, when Baggy's friend Tracey and her daughter (Baggy's  Goddaughter), came over to see the Boys.

 

 

 

Grotty is ever more determined to start riding again; Baggy just needs to get fitter first.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

All-in-all it has been a lovely week Baggees, and has done a grand job of distracting Freda from stressing! But slightly less positively, it also makes Clever Bird acknowledge just how isolated and therefore lonely Baggy is most of the time! Yet another reason for getting Grotty back in the saddle; as many of Baggy's 'new' friends that she's made in the last twenty years, have been 'horsey' ones.  

But in the meantime, Baggy has her sister in the same county for a few more days, and is going to make the most of it.....

Stupid woman!

Note to readers: For the avoidance of any doubt, every character in this blog is Baggy! No Baggy was harmed in its writing, although some of them get pretty confused!

Depression: Hovering.
Anxiety: Yep, it's there.
Tears: Uh huh.
Laughs: Yes thanks.

Never let it be said that Baggy takes herself too seriously - no photo-shopping was undertaken by Creative Clara in the creation of this stunning selfie. No really Baggees, thank you, but it wasn't - Baggy is just naturally - actually, you're right, let's not go there - but in her defence she had let Gloria Gardener do lots of work on a very hot and humid day! And this is Hormonal Hannah's happy corner where she can sit in a cool breeze and relax. She's needed to this week, as for no apparent reason, albeit not as bad as last week, her anxiety has been about again.

Mind you, the woman is an idiot! On Monday, Creative Clara had to post a little vintage tin off so Baggy took her into town. Obviously her shadow was with her, and when he spotted the park, he started woofing in excitement. Furry Mama had intended taking Pepper Pooch to the beach, but he seemed so keen to go to the park that she decided to let him. It wasn't a particularly hot day, and there is a river and a canal, so Clever Bird knew that she could keep the pooch cool - if smelly. They had a pleasant walk, and Pepper, as always, chased his ball. As they headed back to Billy Bob Jalopy campervan, Furry Mama wondered if the pooch was limping. When they got home, she realised that he was! Badly. On checking his back paws, she realised that they were raw. Seriously, for a Clever Bird, Baggy can be really dumb! Running and 'braking' hard on the concrete paths resulted in this happening once before, but the stupid woman had forgotten that.

Furry Mama felt like the worst kind of mother as she put an antiseptic cream on the raw pads, and bandaged Pepper's foot. She can only presume that it's his allergies that cause him to have such soft pads. So for the next four days, neither Baggy or the pooch left the house, as they waited for his paw to heal a little. It looks as if Baggy will be investing in some doggy boots.

Naturally, being stuck in the house and feeling guilty that she'd hurt her beloved pooch, put Hormonal Hannah into a bit of a downward spiral, but at least Gloria Gardener and The Domestic Goddess got some work done. On Friday, Furry Mama decided to take Pepper to the beach for a swim. She set off, only to realise that it was the first day of the Latitude festival, and the road would be a car park, so Baggy did a quick back road detour to Walberswick.



Hannah and the pooch both felt better for some sea air!

 

 

This weekend, Calum and Gloria did a bit more garden improvement! This bank is constantly walked on by kids and pooed on by dogs, and it's annoying! So, it's gone from this:

 

 

To this:

 

 

Now Gloria just needs to keep it alive.

 

 

This afternoon, even Grotty Groom came out to play!! She is determined to start riding Wessles again (although Baggy's weight has gone in the wrong direction, thanks to Hannah's comfort-eating!!). But she's been persuaded that getting straight on Wesley, when she is so unfit would be a suicide mission, so plan A is back in action: ride Joey to get used to riding again after 54-months of not riding, and bring Wesley back into work slowly, in-hand. Both horses went into the indoor school, and put not a hoof wrong - Bless them! They were rewarded with a quick cold shower and an apple each, before going back out to snooze in their paddocks....

Depression is hard to fathom.

Note to readers: For the avoidance of any doubt, every character in this blog is Baggy! No Baggy was harmed in its writing, although some of them get pretty confused!

Depression: Back with a vengeance.
Anxiety: Rubbish.
Tears: Too many.
Laughs: Some.

Depression is a sneaky thing; just when it appears to have gone away it reappears from nowhere. Baggy should be used to this by now, after all, Hormonal Hannah feels totally okay one day, then wakes up the next with blackness all about her. The last week has been a challenge for Hannah, as Clever Bird truly thought that Hannah was free of the despair, she was totally caught out when Baggy woke up on Tuesday morning and felt that sinking desperation that meant that the darkness had returned.

Clever Bird always insists on trying to work out why! You would think by now Baggees, that she would accept that there is no obvious 'why?' There doesn't seem to be any rhyme or reason to it, and trying to get answers actually makes it worse somehow. But there it is, in all its horrible pressure: sadness, worry, fear, anxiousness, racing heart, a sick feeling, tiredness, despair, guilt, self-pity, more guilt, anger, lethargy, and nothingness - just loss. It's horrible, annoying and inexplicable, but it's real.

When Hannah is making Baggy feel like this, it's also become more noticeable to Clever Bird that Baggy feels physically ill as well. This week, her arthritis in her neck and knees has flared back up, she aches all over, has had headaches every day and is constantly exhausted. But worse than all of that, is the inability to motivate Baggy to do anything - a real Catch 22, as sitting about dwelling on the blackness is definitely counter productive. The gang have done their utmost to distract Hannah, but the truth is that when she's about, she is the strongest member of the gang and the rest of them struggle to get a look in.

Furry Mama has continued to take Pepper Pooch to the beach each day, and Hannah definitely perks up a little when she's there. Gloria Gardener has done some more tidying and rearranging as the garden continues to be cleared by a pro.

As ever, the pooch keeps her company - although his efforts are not always helpful!

Gloria has added her first few plants to the little pond, and Furry Mama added a ramp, so that any critters that accidentally fall in, should be able to get out again.

It is now 11.30 pm, way past Baggy's bedtime, especially as she has to be up at 7.00 to take Billy Bob Jalopy campervan to the garage, but Hannah had her so exhausted this afternoon, that she went for a lie down at 5.00 and didn't wake up until 8.00, so now she is all out of kilter....

Doing a little bit of good.

Note to readers: For the avoidance of any doubt, every character in this blog is Baggy! No Baggy was harmed in its writing, although some of them get pretty confused!

Depression: Currently absent.
Anxiety: Fairly low.
Tears: Always.
Laughs: Lots.

Hormonal Hannah is seriously struggling with some of the awful things that are going on in the world; and Clever Bird doesn't understand humans and their belief that they have some superior right to live on this planet, that allows them to treat it as they wish! Or why humans are more important than any other living thing. Or why some humans go even further and believe that they are more important than other humans. In fact, there are days when Baggy wishes that she wasn't a human, because she's ashamed to be one. But all anyone can do is their little bit to make the human race a species to be proud of, and if everyone at least tried a little bit harder, perhaps the world might improve a tiny bit.

It's a sad fact, that for people who suffer from depression and/or anxiety, they can find themselves worrying about things that they can do nothing about. Occasionally, they will find themselves worrying about something that they can't even identify. When it all gets too much, things start to slide. In Hormonal Hannah's case, she stops sleeping well and starts to have back-to-back nightmares. She has dreams about the state of the world, and things rapidly begin to feel overwhelming. Then the gang start struggling: Grotty Groom stays away from her horses; the house becomes more-and-more of a mess as The Domestic Goddess can't cope; Creative Clara stops blogging or working on her shop; Gloria Gardener can't face being outside - vicious circle! Because it then does become actually overwhelming!!

This happened recently, and though The Domestic Goddess has managed to reclaim the house and it is once again looking decent, Gloria Gardener had every reason to be overwhelmed! The combination of sunshine and rain has seen massive growth in the garden, and being semi-wild anyway, it had become way too much for Gloria to cope with. This resulted in her not even trying to cope - so it got worse! It's wonderful to have such a wild space, and the wildlife love it, but it's not easy to look after and Baggy is not as fit as she once was. Indeed for weeks she hasn't been able to kneel down because of her arthritis in her knees. When Baggy's sister was staying a few weekends ago, she suggested getting someone in to blitz it, to give Gloria a chance. Number one furry obviously noted Gloria's distress because he arranged for their friend Kaj, who is a professional garden 'blitzer' to come and take charge! In just a day, today, he has taken down dead branches, dangerous branches, and simply annoying branches, and the difference is amazing. Of course, Creative Clara forgot to take 'before' photos but these are the 'after' ones:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Just as a little indication of how much blitzing was achieved, these are some of the cut-off bits!

 

 

Which means that now the bugs and wildlife have a natural fence to hang out in. All the work gave Gloria the confidence and motivation to get on with weeding the patio, and she managed half of it. Now she feels reinvigorated to carry on, and Kaj will be back next week to do more.

Hormonal Hannah is delighted that the gang are taking control once more, and happy that Baggy is doing her best to be a decent human being - she might be very wary of bugs and spiders, but she's making them a happy place to live......