Failure always feels bad.

Note to readers (my lovely Baggees): For the avoidance of any doubt - every character in this blog is me!!! No Baggy was harmed in its writing.

Baggy's daily state!
Depression (Black = really bad/Grey = not great/Blue = okay/Yellow = sunny day): Blue.
Anxiety (From 1 = barely any to 10 = gibbering wreck standard): 1.
Tears: No.
Overall day:  😪

Furry Mama made Baggy stay up until midnight last night, so that she could feed the little baby mouse. By then Clever Bird had done research on t'internet and discovered that the little fellow also needed to be kept very warm, 100 deg. Fahrenheit warm, so Furry Mama dug out one of those oat warmer-thingies that you heat up in the microwave and wrapped it round the margarine tub. She had also discovered that you have to make the little baby poo and wee, by rubbing his tummy and bits every time he was fed. Okay, job done - so far so good. Baggy went to bed and set her alarm for 2.30am. Freda Fretter started to worry that this was possibly half-an-hour later than it should have been, Clever bird decided to change it, but she must have fallen straight to sleep, because next thing Baggy knew, the alarm was doing its thing. Furry Mama stumbled downstairs to check the little mouse in his margarine tub on top of the high fridge (out of the way of the cats). She was horrified to see him hanging motionless on the trim on top of the fridge door! Hormonal Hannah panicked, but amazingly he was still alive - but he was freezing cold. Furry Mama was very upset and could not work out how on earth the tiny, blind baby had got out of the margarine tub.

She tried to warm him up while she fed him warm cat's milk (ironic that), and reheated the oatmeal-thingy. She decided to put the oatmeal-thingy in a big mixing bowl and then put the margarine tub in the middle of it. Just to make sure he couldn't get out again, Clever Bird put a loose lid over the top. Baggy went back to bed saying a little prayer that he'd be okay. Furry Mama reset the alarm for 4.30am. But Baggy couldn't get back to sleep. Furry Mama was imagining what kind of home she'd buy the little chap, who by now, Creative Clara had rather stupidly named Topo Gigio. By the time Baggy fell back to sleep, she'd married him off and had visions of new generations of baby field mice. The alarm knocked her from her happy fantasies. Baggy found her way back downstairs, all optimistic that everything would be well. It wasn't. Topo Gigio wasn't. Freda Fretter can't decide who to blame for this, but Topo Gigio appeared to have been cooked! He was dead, but very warm. Steamed mouse? Furry Mama was really upset and felt very guilty, she'd been so sure that she could save the little chap. She'd failed. But failure, Clever Bird realises and Calum stated this morning, was pretty inevitable from the moment that the cats got the little fellow. It was probably because he got so cold that he actually died. But that just made Hannah feel worse - Clever bird should have made sure that Furry mama secured him in the tub. Well, at least Furry Mama tried to save him even though she did fail, and realistically, feeding Topo every two hours for at least the next two weeks would have probably finished Baggy off. She'd already realised that she would have to take him with her tomorrow when she takes number one furry to the doctor's, the holiday cottage and the dentist's.

First thing this morning Furry Mama buried Topo Gigio next to Derek-the-dove while Pychic Ploppo said a few words for him. It became clear at this point just what an effect Baggy's happy pills have on her. Before she started taking them, this whole episode would have had her in a sobbing mess. Today, although she was genuinely upset that she's failed Topo and she felt like crying, there was not a tear to be shed. Clever Bird is not actually convinced that this is necessarily a good thing. But maybe it is, bawling your eyes out over a baby mouse probably isn't "normal". But still, it hurts a lot that she couldn't save the little chap. But better to have failed than not to have tried in the first place...................