Baggy's daily state!
Depression (Black = really bad/Grey = not great/Blue = okay/Yellow = sunny day): Yellow.
Anxiety (From 1 = barely any to 10 = gibbering wreck standard): 1.
Tears: No.
Overall day: Slow.
Yesterday Baggy went on her laptop for the first time in days, and for the first time in days she had bad dreams and didn't sleep at all well. Clever Bird can't help wondering if this is more than a coincidence. Maybe something to do with Creative Clara's over active imagination. Maybe something to do with the "rays". Maybe something to do with - oh who knows what? Psychic Ploppo just knows that it's not a coincidence. So baggetts, are you wondering whether Clever Bird thinks that Clara should give up her blog? Clever Bird has thought about it. For about one millisecond. It's not going to happen. Why? Because it helps Hormonal Hannah cope with her anxiety. And because she is aware that every now and again, it also helps one or two of you loyal baggetts in some small way. So Clara will continue to blog. Apart from the other reasons, it uses Baggy's brain. A brain she needs to use. This is evident even from her bad dreams! Apart from the "usual" nightmares - not even vaguely "usual" by the way - she is continually dreaming that she is at college doing a degree, but that it's totally pointless. This is a recurring dream in various forms. And she knows why. She also knows what is triggering them, thanks to a comment from her number one furry this morning. He said that "the laptop was causing an association". Clever Bird realised instantly that he was right. She bought herself her first laptop when she was studying for her MA in Archaeology. She bought it so that every lunchtime she could leave her office, go and sit in a café somewhere and study and complete her assignments. It cost thousands of pounds and took her a couple of years, but she graduated with distinction. It was one of the proudest moments of her life. But, and there are quite a few "buts", at the time Baggy's mother was dying; Baggy's (then) boyfriend was living a double-life that she didn't even begin to realise was like something out of a Thriller novel; Baggy was about to lose a job and Baggy's father thought that she was wasting her time doing the degree in the first place. And there you have it baggetts. The father that Baggy spent her whole life trying to impress, thought that her biggest accomplishment was a "waste of time and money". And Freda Fretter seems to subconsciously agree with him - or why does she dream about it night after night?
But it wasn't a waste of time! Okay, Baggy may not have made use of it, as she'd intended - to swap careers and to undertake a PhD - but that was down to her mama dying, then her losing her job, then a few months later finding out that her (then) boyfriend was living with someone else, and a few months after that, Wesley putting Grotty Groom in hospital so seriously that Baggy was unable to look for any work, as she was signed-off as unfit to work for over ten months. But it wasn't a waste of time, because she loved every second of doing it and she proved to herself that she could do it. The fact that her father didn't even bother to go to her graduation hurt her terribly, but she didn't do the degree for him, she did it for herself. So Baggy is an MA and proud of it. Truthfully, her father certainly wouldn't have understood why Creative Clara writes this blog, but Clever Bird does, and that baggetts is what really matters in this life..........
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