Who are you kidding?

Note to readers (my lovely Baggees): For the avoidance of any doubt - every character in this blog is me!!! No Baggy was harmed in its writing.

Baggy's daily state!
Depression (Black = really bad/Grey = not great/Blue = okay/Yellow = sunny day): Grey.
Anxiety (From 1 = barely any to 10 = gibbering wreck standard): 3.
Tears: Only from Baggy's coughing fits.
Overall day: Quiet.

A memory popped up on Baggy's Facebook today, it was her blog from a year ago (the one that Facebook then banned as being "abusive", which she has still not been given the opportunity to rebuff, but Creative Clara digresses). It is about people's attitude to mental health issues. This is the link if you're interested baggetts:

https://baggybodys.blogspot.co.uk/2016/11/people-need-to-be-more-aware-of-mental.html?spref=fb

A year ago Grotty Groom went to see her Boys for the first time in a couple of weeks. Hormonal Hannah's anxiety had been stopping her from going. Having managed to find the strength to go, she was very upset to have been told to "snap out of" her depression and stop neglecting her horses. Needless to say, the comment had exactly the opposite effect. A year on and once again Hannah is preventing Grotty from seeing her Boys, and for the first time in weeks, yesterday she went to see them. But Grotty's lovely "new" yard owner couldn't have been more understanding. No "snap out of its". Just "The Boys have been angels. It's lovely to see you. Just pop up and have a cup of tea if you feel like it. Take it one day at a time". It's amazing how a bit of understanding can help someone who is suffering from depression or anxiety issues. Putting a brave face on it becomes a way of life for a lot of people with mental health issues. They don't want to show their "weakness" to the world, so they hide behind a happy, smiley persona. But Clever Bird realises that this can result in the person not just fooling others, but fooling themselves into thinking that they're okay when actually they're not. Hannah has been doing this to Baggy recently. Her actions belie her feelings. Physical poorliness aside, she hasn't wanted to leave the house, or to get on with things, but she has done, mainly for Pepper's sake. But by suppressing her true feelings, even to herself, instead of facing them, they get worse. The black cloud appears from nowhere. Then everything becomes overwhelming again.

No matter how hard it is to face, it's best to share how you're feeling. Someone listening to your concerns makes all the difference, so if you don't share them in the first place, how can anyone help you?

Being out on such a glorious English autumn day, walking the gorgeous Pepper Pooch, should have had Baggy feeling wonderfully lucky to be alive. Clever Bird recognised this and agreed that she was, very lucky. But Hannah couldn't feel it. She just felt panicky and sick that she didn't feel supremely happy, when "she should". Even as Furry Mama laughed at Pepper, who had totally ignored her and shot in to the lake for a cool down, Hannah just wanted to cry. She's not even sure why, but that just makes the feeling even worse. So when number one furry comes home tonight, Baggy has to try to be honest about how Hannah is feeling, instead of pretending to be okay when she clearly isn't; hard as that will be, because she doesn't want to stress or worry Calum. It's not always best to put a brave face on it............