As Baggy tried to comb through the wet mop that she calls her hair, Calum made her a chicken roll.
'Thanks. What time are we going?'
'Oh, we are going then!'
'Yes. I'll be okay - I think,' said Hormonal Hannah, not at all convinced that she would be okay, and wondering what to wear to the party; and whether she'd decide that she wasn't going to go after all, once she saw what she looked like in the mirror.
'About half seven I reckon - we don't want to be the first there do we?'
'I can't say I want to be there at all,' thought Hannah.
For once Baggy put on a tiddly-bit of makeup, and as she put on her new outfit a little later, she actually felt quite good as she looked at herself in the mirror. By now it was gone 7.00pm.
'You look absolutely beautiful,' said Cal, who was watching a quiz on the telly.
'Thanks bubba, you look pretty handsome yourself.'
At 7.35, Freda Fretter said, 'Do you think we should head over now? There's fashionably late, and then there's rude.'
'Yep sure, if you're okay to go.'
'I will be.'
Pepper started leaping about like a big puppy, when Furry Mama fetched his collar.
'Don't get too excited baby, I'm afraid we're not going to the beach again!'
It's only a five-minute walk to the hall, but they had to go in Billy Bob Jalopy campervan, as Pepper Pooch would need to sleep in it while Baggy and Cal were in the party. Furry Mama was a little worried about this, as it was a cold night, so she put the pooch's little knitted jumper on him, and threw in some extra blankets. Hormonal Hannah had visions of sitting in the van with Pepper when the party got too much! But as the people throwing the party, are the neighbour's who she would ordinarily have asked to pooch-sit, she didn't have much choice.
As they drove into the hall grounds, Baggy could see disco lights flashing, but no cars parked. Then Freda Fretter realised that the little car park behind the hall was full, and started to panic that Pepper wouldn't be safe. Of course there was space though, so Furry Mama checked he was settled, and headed into the hall with Calum.
As she walked into the entrance hall, she could see that quite a few people were sitting at tables chatting, and that the disco was in full swing. Then Clever Bird recognised Calum's brother and his partner sitting at the table nearest to the entrance, and stopped Baggy dead in her tracks as the little light bulb flashed on in Baggy's brain - this party was not what it seemed.
Baggy glanced at Calum, and realised from his face that she was right, the party was for her. Now Baggees, at this moment, Clever Bird had to get Hormonal Hannah, who was about to turn-tail and run back to Billy Bob, to be brave and keep walking - she was about to be the centre of attention whether she liked it or not!
Frankly, it's amazing how many thoughts can flash through the human brain at moments of terror! And for Hormonal Hannah this was a moment of terror. All she could think was, that she'd been right all along - Calum had arranged a surprise party for her.
Clever Bird had been convinced weeks ago that he was arranging a surprise party for Baggy. It was after all her 60th birthday, and yet he had barely mentioned it, which was not like him. She got suspicious; not that she can remember why now, and decided to speak to her sister about it on the phone.
'Deb, is Calum arranging a party for my birthday, only I can't imagine anything worse?'
Slight hesitation.
'No, not that I know of.'
'Truly? Because I know you'd know if he was.'
'Well he hasn't said anything to me about it.'
Clever Bird did not believe a word of this!
'You would tell me wouldn't you? There aren't enough people who'd want to come to a party for me. I'd feel so uncomfortable. I'd much rather have a meal out with a few people.'
'Than be the centre of attention in a billy-no-mates-party,' thought Freda and Hannah.
'Yeah, of course I'd tell you,' replied Debby.
Hannah decided that maybe she did believe her after all. Only for Calum to call her later.
'I've had your sister on the phone!'
'Oh?'
'You've been worrying her that I'm organising a party, that she knows nothing about.'
'Well have you?'
'No! I know you hate parties.'
'I do. That's why I've never had one.'
'There you go then - so why would I be organising you one?'
'Because you're a sneaky bugger,' thought Baggy now, as she walked slowly towards her party.
At the time, she'd decided that she must be barking up the wrong tree after all. And yet, there had still been virtually no mention of Baggy's birthday, so she wasn't totally convinced. Then the party invitation turned up, and had the opposite effect to the one that Calum had intended - Clever Bird's suspicions were raised once again.
'We've had a party invite from Bill and Max, Cal.'
'Oh yeah, when for?'
'My birthday weekend, so I don't really want to go.'
'Let's see how he manages to get out of that one, if it is a red herring-invite,' thought Clever Bird.
'Your birthday's on a Wednesday isn't it?'
'I think so,'
'So, your birthday can be celebrated the following weekend too, can't it?'
'I guess.'
'There you are then. But we don't have to go if you can't face it.'
Hmmmm. Over the next few weeks, Clever Bird kept testing Cal who she knew had spoken to Bill and Max.
'What's their party for?'
'Do we need to get them a present?' and on, and on. The man had answers for everything! So in the end, Baggy was 98% convinced that the party at the village hall on November 16th really was for their neighbours.
Until that was, she walked in to the village hall! Clever Bird knew that Bill and Max did not know Calum's brother. Baggy gritted her teeth, and carried on walking...
... to be continued.
Note to readers: For the avoidance of any doubt, every character in this blog is Baggy! No Baggy was harmed in its writing, although some of them get pretty confused!
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