Bad dreams.

Note to readers (my lovely Baggees): For the avoidance of any doubt - every character in this blog is me!!! No Baggy was harmed in its writing.

Baggy's daily state!
Depression (Black = really bad/Grey = not great/Blue = okay/Yellow = sunny day): Black.
Anxiety (From 1 = barely any to 10 = gibbering wreck standard): 10.
Tears: Slightly hysterical ones.
Overall day: Hmmmm.

Hormonal Hannah's safe places are all playing up! The house is totally wrong without Minty Mutt in it. Thankfully Calum is back for a day after his weekend of being a hairy biker, but he goes back to work tomorrow. Billy Bob Jalopy was doing the sputt-sputtering thing again yesterday on the way back from the animal sanctuary, that last time caused the five hour wait, and........no let's not think like that. But of course now Freda Fretter is worrying that she'll have no transport and Furry Mama won't be able to collect Pepper Pooch. Baggy's bed is starting to cause Hormonal Hannah to have really bad nightmares. Well no, of course that's silly, it's not the bed, it's Hannah's anxiety. But instead of Baggy being able to take refuge in sleep, she is beginning to get nervous of going to bed. Last night was the worst it's been in a while. Baggy slept, but had back-to-back bad dreams that got progressively worse. By seven she couldn't take it any more and got up.

While Baggy was awake at 3.00am she was thinking about some of the dreams that Hannah's been having in the last few weeks. The ones that really stand out were the frequency of:

• Being on a cruise ship of some kind.
• Missing a train or ship and being left stranded.
• Various ex-partners letting her down in some extremely weird ways.
• Losing Minty Mutt (as in losing him in parks, towns, on cruise ships!)
• The cats following Baggy everywhere - even through towns and on trains and cruise ships, but then disappearing on her before showing up again.
• Various really important people in Baggy's life, not listening to her and not believing anything she said about needing help because something (weirdly insane) had happened to her.
• And ultimately, last night, all of the above in the same nightmare.

Baggy woke up with a dry mouth, sore throat, and a head ache. Clever Bird is fairly sure that Baggy was calling out in her sleep for help - not that Calum heard her, Bless him. The "losing" Minty Mutt is now screamingly obvious, as possibly is the cats "being there" for Furry Mama. But the rest? Cruising through life? Being on an emotional journey? Being let down? Who knows? But the really interesting thing about last night's nightmare was that amongst all the angst and let down, there was a Collie rescue dog!!!!! It wasn't Furry Mama's.........yet!

So Clever Bird has taken various positive actions today.

1. New battery bought and fitted for Billy Bob Jalopy, because Clever Bird is 95% certain that that is the problem. When it was tested it was on its last legs, which (hopefully) confirmed her theory.
2. Doctor's appointment made for Wednesday (there was a cancellation), to have a discussion about her happy pills.
3. An indoor training leash bought for Pepper, so that Furry Mama can stop him from being tempted to hurtle after the puddy tats until everyone gets on.
4. The garden has been puppy-proofed. Well it's been made a little safer for a highly bouncy and inquisitive Pepper!

A temporary "gate" has been put up by Calum and their friend Kaj so that Pepper can be let out on the patio without Furry Mama's supervision (well without being on a lead at least).

An extra bit of trellising has been put around the very low wall to stop Pepper from being tempted to jump off it and to stop him from jumping up it.

Hinge and Bracket's favourite mouse hunting ground has been blocked off, to keep Pepper away from all the rubbish shoved back there - the cats are NOT happy!

Plant pots have been relocated to make a visual barrier.

Basically the whole bottom patio area has had a revamp. Now Hormonal Hannah is not happy about change, at all, but she doesn't mind the look of this and it set Gloria Gardener off watering and weeding!

The question is, does Creative Clara get her mad coloured paints out or not?

There is one problem with all of this though, as Furry Mama discovered this evening. The patio is not just Pepper-proofed, it is also Hinge-proofed, as the poor puddy tat is so fat that she can't get through the holes in the trellis..............