Breakdown!

Note to readers (my lovely Baggees): For the avoidance of any doubt - every character in this blog is me!!! No Baggy was harmed in its writing.

Baggy's daily state!
Depression (Black = really bad/Grey = not great/Blue = okay/Yellow = sunny day): Yellow.
Anxiety (From 1 = barely any to 10 = gibbering wreck standard): 2 to 9 and back to 2.
Tears: Amazingly not  although they were hovering.
Overall day(s): WaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaH!!!!!

Sorry once again baggees, but yesterday was a disaster! Baggy was up with the sparrows (well the ones that like a bit of a lie in anyway), and Furry Mama was walking Minty mutt by 8.00am. At 8.45am they set off with the Domestic Goddess to go to the holiday cottage. She hasn't been for a few weeks and had things to take over there and bills to pay for various suppliers. At 9.00am Billy Bob Jalopy started to feel like a jalopy: phutt, phutting and needing to be in lower gears than normal. At 9.15 Freda Fretter was beginning to realise that the situation was looking a little terminal. At 9.20, Freda was getting really concerned as Billy Bob wouldn't go above 25mph even in second gear with Baggy's foot flat to the floor!! Cars were trying to drive up his exhaust pipe as if Baggy was driving at this speed for her entertainment! Windy, country, scary narrow roads in the middle of nowhere without a layby or garage in sight. At 9.25 the phutt, phutting, phutted to a total phutting stop and all Billy Bob's warning lights came on - very useful when it's all too late! As Billy Bob gathered speed down a steep hill with very interesting right-angled bends, Freda Fretter realised that the brakes weren't working! Clever Bird decided that she was imagining it and kept Baggy calm. Eventually she spotted a place where it wouldn't be totally suicidal to pull over and pulled over! It was fairly suicidal, but needs must.

Clever Bird went to find the rescue company's number. Nope. Baggy called Calum. Nope. Freda Fretter started to panic. Clever Bird made Baggy call her insurance company. They patched her through. Trouble is Baggy had zero idea where she was. No clue of the road number and as Hormonal Hannah was beginning to make her really anxious she couldn't even remember which villages that she had been through. Baggy tried to flag down three different lorries to ask what road number she was on - not one stopped!! It took over twenty minutes before the rescue company had vaguely established where she was. "As you are on your own and in a dangerous position you are a priority". A text arrived. "A recovery vehicle will be with you by 10.52". Some priority. Furry Mama tried to reassure a scared Mint as cars and lorries rushed past. Baggy tried not to panic. She couldn't get hold of Calum. Finally she did and as he had finished work early, he said he'd come over. Phew.

The recovery vehicle turned up at 11.15! The bloke had absolutely no clue!!! Calum turned up (eventually, having driven straight past, probably as Baggy was reversing Billy Bob onto a side road), and pointed out the loose lead to the battery. "It won't be that. Your engine seems to be okay now. Drive up the road to a layby. I'll follow". Freda Fretter was far from convinced. Within a few yards Clever Bird knew that Freda was right. They made it to the layby (just), a few miles up the road. "Well I can't fix it. I'll call a recovery vehicle". Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! And breathe. Hormonal Hannah's anxiety levels off the scale. Calum doing silly dances in the layby to cheer Baggy up. Mint getting upset. No text. No call. No reply from the rescue company. Ring, ring, ring, then it just cut off. Another call to the insurance company. "Sorry". Text: "Recovery vehicle will be with you at 1.17pm". WTF? Calum suggested a drive to get a coffee and something to eat. Good plan. They locked Billy Bob and headed to Stonham Barns. On the way back, some idiot had jumped a red light on some road works! The poor guys had to get cars and lorries reversing, pulling in, turning round. Thank goodness Cal was driving! Twenty minutes later the grid lock was over. By the time they got back to Billy Bob, Baggy was a gibbering wreck! At 1.45pm when there was still no sign of any recovery vehicle and no texts, Hannah started a baby meltdown. Thank goodness Calum was there or it would have been a big one! Still no answer from the recovery company. Another call to the insurance company. No they hadn't been told that we had moved! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! "They should be there in twenty minutes."

Meanwhile Baggy had a text from the girl cleaning the holiday cottage. The place was a mess. Urine all over one rug. Dog poo trampled on another and round the sitting room. House stank of cigarettes (it is a no smoking cottage). Soaking wet pillows in the spare bedroom. Hannah started a proper meltdown. Baggy explained she was stuck and tried to calm Hannah down. Clever Bird phoned the holiday let company. Still no sign of a recovery vehicle.

At 2.30pm it arrived. Finally. With a very nice chap. He checked out the engine. Cleaned bits. Bashed the battery connector back on (it wouldn't go on normally). Tried the engine. Better, but still not right. He suggested that they set off and he would follow. Hormonal Hannah panicked. She didn't want to get stuck again miles from anywhere. She also didn't want to be on a really steep hill with no brakes! She said as much. He listened to the engine. Phutt. "He doesn't sound right does he?"
"No, not really".
"I don't think he'll make it".
"No. You might be right".
"Was I imagining the no brakes?"
" No. The brakes won't work if the engine cuts out." Pause. "I'll tow him to the VW garage".

 

 

Baggy was relieved but upset. As they followed Billy Bob up the road through the road works that the idiot had jumped, Baggy's heart rate finally began to slow down. Thank goodness Calum was with her - no way could she have travelled in the recovery vehicle!!

They eventually got to their destination at just before 4.00pm. Baggy had a message that the cottage was as okay as it could be. Quick test drive. Check of the engine. And battery. New connector made for the battery. Wing mirror fitted back on. Billy Bob was fixed! They got back to the holiday cottage at 5.00pm (Seven hours late). The new guests still hadn't arrived, so The Domestic Goddess shot in. Swapped rugs about. Checked everything. Dropped off her bits. Went next door to thank the neighbours for their help.

By the time they got home last night (via the chippy) it was 9.00pm and Baggy was an exhausted mess! Poor Minty wasn't much better. The day had not gone to plan. Baggy was in bed by half past. Hence no blog. Sorry baggees. She'll tell you about today tomorrow. Night night.......