In a quandary.

Note to readers (my lovely Baggees): For the avoidance of any doubt - every character in this blog is me!!! No Baggy was harmed in its writing.

Baggy's daily state!
Depression (Black = really bad/Grey = not great/Blue = okay/Yellow = sunny day): Blue .
Anxiety (From 1 = barely any to 10 = gibbering wreck standard):8.
Tears: No.
Overall day: 😌😌😌😌

Quandary of the night, when Baggy couldn't get back to sleep at 3.00am: How do you wish a thespian luck with their forthcoming production? One of Baggy's friends is in a play soon. Baggy felt that it would be nice to send her a text message (as she won't be seeing her). But Freda Fretter just cannot bring herself to say "Break a leg" to her! Talk about tempting fate. Nope, that's just asking for trouble. She wondered about, "Break a toe". But would that be considered half-hearted, not wishing proper luck, or would she even know what the heck Baggy was talking about? Especially as Hormonal Hannah can't actually remember how soon the play is. Besides which, the friend in question is a physiotherapist by profession, so it all seems even more wrong. Not to mention the fact that a broken toe is incredibly painful. Baggy knows this for a fact having broken a few of hers, one, more than once! Joey horse's massive cloddy-cloppers on Grotty Groom's little toes - waaaaaaah!

Baggy's real Mum was a thespian. She hated people to say, "Break a leg", was more than happy for them to say, "Good luck". Mind you she also got cross if people didn't use the "M" word. When she played Lady Macduff in a professional production in London, she constantly freaked the rest of the cast and crew out. She did the same when she directed the play at Bromley Little Theatre. "Macbeth this", "Macbeth that", cast going white and doing the warding-off-a-witch sign at her. Mind you she was a bit of a witch (a white one), but that's another story for another day. Unlike Baggy, she loved to tempt fate though. "Never work with children and animals" - "Pah!", said she. Bromley Little Theatre is well named. It's tiny. Tiny stage. Tiny auditorium - it seats 100. 101 if you include the flop down Director's chair at the back. But Baggy's Mum merrily put on BIG productions. One such, (it must have been in the seventies), was "The Relapse" - a seventeenth-century restoration comedy, featuring the original "fop", Lord Foppington. Flouncy costumes, dusted wigs, swords, a cast of thousands (or so it seemed to a little Baggy) on a miniscule stage. But that wasn't challenge enough! Oh no. Baggy's Mum added to her cast, a few loose chickens to wander about the stage in the market scenes. A couple of feral-looking cats, (they were actually very well trained, pussy thespians, made-up to look feral). Yes baggees, chickens and cats on stage loose together. But even that wasn't enough of a challenge for Baggy's Mum, so she threw in a mutt as well! Baggy has a memory of a donkey too - but there's no way that there really was one (at least not at that theatre), because to get into the theatre you have to go up a near vertical set of wooden stairs! Impossible for many a person. Actually Baggy's Mum loved that theatre so much that she left a large sum of money to them when she died, so that they could have a lift put in - Clever Bird wonders whether they ever did.

As Baggy remembered all this in the middle of the night, no closer to knowing what to put in her text, she also remembered how she and her sister spent days and days at that theatre (and others). They only got to see their Mum for one weekend a month. In reality it was frequently not even that often. But in Baggy's memory, when they did see her, she was always either in, producing, or directing a play, frequently all three at once. But little Baggy loved being at the theatre. She found it exciting. Crawling under the stage with her sister. Trying on costumes. Watching rehearsals. Looking at all the old photos of previous productions on the dusty, cobwebby walls, trying to spot their Mum. It was particularly exciting going to Stratford-on-Avon with their Mum and the actor who played Lord Foppington (a true fop in reality), to select costumes to hire for the play. Baggy and Debby dressed in full cavalier outfits, including thigh-high boots (which were more waist-high on two small children), and black ostrich-feathered hats. While their Mum was busy, they shot outside in these outfits, complete with swords and had a little fight. It was only when a member of the RSC appeared and carefully removed the swords from them, that a mini-Baggy realised that these swords were actually incredibly sharp!

By the time Baggy actually got back to sleep, her dreams were of her Mum, the smell of dusty theatres and stage make-up, and somehow ending up on that stage, in front of a full house, with a sword and absolutely no clothes on! This is even scarier than it seems, because there is no way that Baggy would volunteer to get on a stage and perform fully dressed! Ah well, Baggy is frequently stark naked in public places in her dreams. And yes baggees, Clever Bird is well aware of the significance of that. That's just how she is, constantly feeling vulnerable. As a result she'll probably end up not even sending the text, because Freda is too worried about causing offence........