Just when Clever Bird thought that everything was getting back on track for Baggy, it seems that Hormonal Hannah has had different ideas. That's probably one of the worst things about both depression and anxiety, they reappear for no apparent reason, just when you're hopeful that you've got them under control. Unfortunately, in the last few weeks Baggy has had both pesky issues reappear, and now they're both crushing her. Just letting Creative Clara type that has put Baggy's heart rate up. Should she be admitting this? Is she "wallowing"? Who does she think she is writing a blog? Surely if she feels that bad she wouldn't be plastering her life all over the internet? Can everyone see how pathetic she is? Stupid woman is so much better off than so many people, why does she feel like this?
Because she does!
It's horrible, but it's real. And it's coming out physically as well. She is just worn out with feeling so achy and in pain. But outwardly, the only people who see the real mess she is in are the furries. And that's really hard, because number one is so far away all week. Baggy really doesn't want to make him worry when he's not there to help her, so she bottles it up. Even when she is honest(ish) about having a bad day, she plays it down. But every day this week has been really bad. Tonight number one will be home in a few hours time. Baggy will be delighted to see him. But, and this is a big but, she'll try not to be "down" because he's had a really difficult week and will just want to relax and that is actually harder than being at home alone, when she doesn't have to pretend. The other furries all know when she's really bad, especially Minty Mutt who will just stick by her side. And of course, so does Calum. So pretending to be better than she is, is pointless. But she'll still do it and it will probably make her feel worse.
Thank goodness that Calum is so understanding. Baggy really hates Hormonal Hannah and how she makes her feel. But Calum loves her and looks after her, as he does all the gang. At least Baggy's excited to show him Gloria Gardener's and The Domestic Goddess's achievements of the week, as much has been done. But she needs him to help her sort out the formalities of buying Gloria's garden as Baggy received two solicitor's letters this week: the first to buy the bank, shed and boule terrain area which is now fairly straight forward; the second to buy all the rest (from the farmer), plus an extra bit. But everyone is expecting Clever Bird to identify the area that they are purchasing. Bearing in mind that three different surveyors could not identify the current land ownership on the land registry because of the steep terrain (and an out of date OS map). It's easy enough to mark out the area on the ground - Grotty Groom will lend Baggy all her electric posts and tape. But explaining it well enough for the land registry to be correct, that is a different issue, and it put Baggy into a panicky meltdown. She just feels incapable of doing anything "responsible" at the moment. Not helped by useless solicitors who just seem to take money while Clever Bird does all their work. And breathe, number one furry to the rescue.............
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