There's been a bit of an attempt at an internal coup in the gang. Hormonal Hannah has gone for a takeover from Baggy again in the last few weeks. Unfortunately she's been succeeding as well. It's not so much that she's been bringing the black cloud in (although she has), Baggy seems to be able to manage that fairly well now, by keeping the active members busy. So Hannah seems to have re-introduced Baggy to her anxiety, with a vengeance. Baggy is constantly worried. Half the time, she doesn't even know what about - she's just worried. And it makes her have a sick feeling in her stomach. It's very debilitating and extremely annoying. But the biggest problems with it are twofold: it totally knocks Baggy's confidence, which despite outward appearance, is low in the first place. And it stops her from doing things. When the anxiety really takes hold, the "safest" place for Baggy to be is with her number one furry. But of course from Monday through Friday, she can't be with him. Monday's are therefore a really bad day for Baggy, because it's even more pronounced that she's on her own, having been with him all weekend. So her "safe" place becomes her home and she just doesn't want to leave it.
When the anxiety is really bad, like today, Baggy will avoid it by sleeping. If she's asleep she can't worry. That is of course totally untrue! Last night's dreams: both cats went missing in some huge mansion that Baggy was lost in; Baggy found herself in the middle of a shopping centre where every public loo was locked and she was desperate, only to spot one and then realise she couldn't go to it because she was naked; She was at a new job and couldn't work out how to use the computer. And they're the ones she can remember - you get the gist. Worried. Crazy. But she still didn't get up until after eleven o'clock and it took her another hour to bother to get dressed.
The trouble is when it takes Baggy like this, she starts to comfort herself. At least that's what she thinks she's doing. She'll buy things even if she can't afford to. She'll eat comforting (for that read fattening) food. She'll flob about in comfy old clothes. She'll drink too much tea and coffee. And if she gets really bad, she'll drink drink, as it were, usually wine. It's a minor miracle that she hasn't started smoking again. But all of these things make her feel guilty. They are also making her pile weight back on at a rapid rate of knots! She got to her target weight with Fat Club and stayed at it for about a week. That was two months ago. She is now nearly a stone above it once more. Which of course also makes her anxious!
So meet Weedy! Weedy is the nickname for Wilma Willpower. Wilma is a really strong old bird when she's on form. In the past she's got Baggy to give up a forty-a-day smoking habit, by getting her to go cold turkey. She's had her do a thousand-foot rock climb even though she has really bad vertigo. She helped her to lose three-and-a-half stone with Fat Club. But when she's not on form, she's a weed! And thanks to Hormonal Hannah, she is currently far from being on form. So Clever Bird is determined to make Weedy a strong bird again - starting sometime soon............maybe............
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